Conan Misquotes

I saw this quote in a signature block on a disxcussion board:

What is best in life?

To crush the Democrats, see them driven before you, and to hear the
lamentation on DailyKos and Huffpo.


I sent it to a couple of friends one of which indicated that it was unmanly and lacked in his words 'pumpitude'

I offered up this alternate:

To crush the politicians, to loot the investment banks before you, and to hear the lamentations of the bureaucrats.

But it didn't quite make the grade, but Mr. Pumpitude did manage to come up with a better quote in response to what is best in life:

To crush the corrupt, to see the freeloaders flee before me, and to hear the lamentations of the selfish.